Articles for the Month of July 2015

Teaser Thursday- Dancing Away

DancingAway_200 (2)

They headed down the sidewalk. “I teach dance. I perform. There’s a lot to do,” Merit said.

“Right. That makes sense.” Cole paused. “You’ve really settled in here, huh?”

“Very much. I love living here. It’s a lot more open than our hometown.”

“Yeah.” Cole looked around at the buildings and people they were passing. “Yeah, I can see that. I’m glad you found a place where you’re happy.”

“So am I.” Merit glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. He sensed Cole wanted to say something else and didn’t quite dare. Despite his curiosity, he wasn’t about to ask what that might be. If Cole had something to say, he could just say it.

Cole didn’t say anything for a moment, just kept walking. Merit stayed beside him, willing himself to stay silent. Whatever the guy was thinking, Merit refused to try to read his mind or to push him in any way.

“I work for my uncle,” Cole said suddenly.

“You told me that,” Merit said. “Is there a reason you’re repeating it?”

“If I didn’t work for him, things might be easier.” He hesitated. “If I didn’t work for him, I’d be able to move. He has everything set up so that when he retires, I take over the company, and he’s retiring pretty soon. Within the next couple years, most likely. I can’t just leave him in the lurch.”

“Did anyone ask you to?” Merit felt a bit of mental whiplash trying to keep up with Cole’s thoughts.

“I asked me to.” Cole shook his head. “I know I’m not making a lot of sense. I haven’t really thought this through, and it’s hard to figure out what I’m saying while we’re walking up the street. Too many distractions.”

“Can you walk and chew gum at the same time?”

Cole snorted. “Not always. Look, we need to sit somewhere and talk. This place looks good.” He gestured at the bar and grill they’d stopped beside. “Hopefully it’ll be quiet enough we can hear each other.”

“Sure.” Merit hoped so, because he was growing a little tired of not really knowing what was going on. Cole obviously had something on his mind, but he was jumping around so much with his words that Merit couldn’t even begin to keep up.

It sounded like Cole was thinking about moving to the city. And he didn’t have any reason to do that other than being with Merit. Merit didn’t know how to feel about that. A guy—not just a guy, but Cole Dellany—was thinking about changing his whole life for him.

He decided he was better off not trying to figure out what to say until Cole clarified what he was talking about.

They went inside and found a small table near the front window. “What do you want to drink?” Cole asked. “My treat.”

“I won’t argue with free drinks, but I’ll just have a soda,” Merit replied. “Rehearsal in less than an hour, remember?”

“Right. I’ll be right back.” Cole went to the bar to order their drinks while Merit sat and looked out at the passers-by. He’d only come to apologize to Cole for the way he’d acted on Sunday. He hadn’t planned on having a serious, potentially life-changing conversation, and yet that seemed to be where they were headed.

Cole returned with a bottle of local beer and a glass which he set in front of Merit. “Soda, as requested.”

“Thanks.” Merit took a sip. “Look, you obviously have something to say. I’m having a little trouble figuring out what it is and we’re running short on time, so if you wouldn’t mind just saying it, that would help me out a lot.”

Cole swigged some of his beer and took a deep breath. “Fair enough. I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here. With you.”

Random Thoughts

Because I was having a hard time thinking of topics for this week’s blog, I decided to just be random about it. I guess these are more questions than thoughts, so feel free to answer if you’re so inclined.

Why do some people think hugs can be given to total strangers with no hesitation, while others think hugs are foreplay?

Do cats have some kind of radar that tells them where you are at any given moment? Because mine always lurk near me, even when I try to hide…

Same thing with kids. How do kids always know where you are?

How many dishes have to get broken before I stop my 20-year-old from washing them?

How does my 20-year-old not know how to wash dishes yet?

How the heck is she 20??? That makes me… old!

Why is it that sometimes friendship seems more intimate than a relationship?

Why does it have to Monday?

Teaser Thursday- You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This

Kiss 100

Eventually, the lack of music registered on her consciousness and she stopped in the middle of the floor. Her heart sped up and she turned toward the door, not knowing what to expect.

Stefan stood there with a tentative smile. “You’re beautiful when you dance.”

She didn’t return his smile. Until she figured out whether they were about to make up or whether he just wanted to tell her off, she didn’t want to let him know how happy the sight of him made her. “Thank you.”

“May I come in?”

She shrugged. “The studio doesn’t belong to me. I can’t tell you to stay out even if I wanted to.”

“You’re angry with me.” He entered and stopped only a few steps inside. “I’m sorry I haven’t answered your calls. I’m here now. Can we talk, please?”

“I think that would be a good idea, if you’re sure you want to talk.” She certainly wouldn’t force him to have a discussion if he wanted to avoid her. And given the unreturned calls, he didn’t want to say anything to her.

He held out his hand. She ignored it, and he let it drop back to his side. “When you walked out on me, it pissed me off, I admit. You didn’t even give us a chance to talk about where things are or where we see them going. I haven’t had many relationships, so I might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure when two people are together they’re supposed to discuss things. That’s why I didn’t want to talk to you on the phone.”

“Because I pissed you off.”

“Partly,” he agreed. “Mostly because if one or both of us is going to be upset, we should be together to hold each other.” He took her hand. “We’d just gotten things started between us.”

“Yeah.” Her heart sank. “I might have messed up. You had a share in that argument, though.”

“Yes, I did.” He pressed a key on the laptop, and the opening notes of his favorite song filled the room. “Dance with me, Erin. Then we’ll talk.”

Reluctantly, she allowed him to lead her into the center of the room. Reluctant only because she wanted to sort things out with him without procrastinating. Her body took over from her mind as the music played, and they moved smoothly together through the steps and variations they’d done before.

The touch of his hands electrified her. The music flowed through them, connecting them in the dance. All the joy she’d felt dancing with him returned to her. Their argument didn’t matter. Her anger evaporated, and she allowed herself to simply feel the dance, to follow without anticipating. To do what she loved most.

He pulled her to him, and rather than releasing her in the next beat, touched his lips to hers. She cupped his face in her hands, deepening the kiss as desire coursed through her.

He tightened his arms around her. His tongue sought entry to her mouth and she parted her lips to allow it. Her nipples stiffened as their tongues touched. She wanted him, and her body didn’t care that they stood in a dance studio where students would shortly arrive. She needed the closeness of his body.

He broke the kiss, breathing heavily. “I love you.”

I Wrote That?

One of the reasons I decided to take a hiatus from writing was because I felt like my writing–especially sex scenes–had become stale and repetitive. That’s sometimes the price one pays when one tries to write too much in too short a time.

Here are two scenes that show a little of what I’m talking about. One is from one of my most recent releases. One is from a few years ago. I’ve taken out character names so there’s no hint of which book is from which year. (Both have been published.) See if you can guess which book is which. I’ll let you know at the end of the post.


Snippet 1:

She turned her face up to look at him, and he met her lips with his. The kiss was filled with love and heat, which quickly grew to hunger. Hers. This man was hers and she was his, and she couldn’t believe they had waited so long to say so.

His tongue met hers. He cupped her breast. Moaning, she took one hand off him to fumble with the buttons on her blouse. She craved his touch on her skin.


Snippet 2:

The beat of the song was low and throbbing. For West Coast Swing, the music worked well because of how easily the count of the beat could be followed. However, this song had obviously been written with something in mind that involved much more contact between bodies. The bass thrummed through her and her pussy kept time, moistening with arousal so strong it nearly pushed her out of the dance.


When I re-read some of my older stuff, written and published prior to 2012, I’m sometimes astonished at how good it is. Especially the sex scenes. I’ve found a few recently in books I wrote in 2010 and 2011 that I could hardly believe were actually my work. And it wasn’t only in published books; I found scenes in a couple of unpublished manuscripts, meaning they didn’t have the benefit of an editor’s guidance. I wrote those scenes myself.

When I look at some of my newer stuff, though… it’s different. The technical aspects of the writing are still good, but my heart clearly wasn’t in writing those scenes, and nothing my editors and I did could change that. Between the end of 2011 and now, I tried to write too much. I got burned out. My personal romantic life went through some changes, and PTSD did some figurative ass-kicking on me, and somewhere along the line, I lost my ability to write scenes where the characters–and hopefully the readers–are begging for more.

Reading my older stories, I remember how much I loved writing them. Even though writing sex scenes has never been exactly easy for me, I at least *wanted* to write them. My heart was fully invested in showing all aspects of the growing relationship between the characters, physical and emotional. And I liked finding different ways to show what they were feeling, without resorting to cliches, repetition, and flat out saying it.

If I wrote that way before, I will be able to again. But I think taking the step back and giving my brain some breathing room was definitely a good idea. Maybe this way, I’ll find the joy in my real life again, and that will bring the joy back to writing these books.

WithEveryTouch_covertnKiss 100

The covers above are in the same order as the snippets. With Every Touch was released in March of this year. You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This was released in February 2011.

Special Guest Nancy Corrigan

Bridged by Love

Nancy Corrigan


Follow his head, he breaks her heart. Follow his heart…he breaks his pack.


Kagan Wolves, Book 1

From the moment he was born, Nic Kagan’s future was sealed. He’ll accept a mate, have kids, and eventually take over his father’s role as pack alpha. There’s just one problem.

Long ago, his heart settled on Riley, the pack’s human doctor and honorary member. Except only half of him can have her. The other half—his wolf—won’t give a weak non-shifter female a second sniff.

No one—human or shifter—has left a mark on Riley’s soul like Nic. But with his father hospitalized, any hope things could work out between them is slipping away. Yet Riley understands something else about pack life. Power isn’t always a physical gift; love is just as strong. What she and Nic have is worth fighting for.
With rival threats mounting, Nic realizes he can’t simply turn his back on Riley. Though his wolf could tear his heart out for it, he must fight for what he wants before he loses his mate. His pack. Maybe even his sanity.

Warning: Contains a reluctant alpha with only one roadblock between his heart and the woman he loves—biology. And a woman who isn’t giving up on him, even if it means risking her life to fool Mother Nature.


The details…

Book Title: Bridged by Love

Series Name: Kagan Wolves

Series Number: 1

Author: Nancy Corrigan

ISBN13: 978-1-61923-004-0

Length: 63,982

Categories: PAW: Paranormal, PAW: Red Hot, RH: Paranormal & Alternate Worlds

Tags: Shape-Shifters; Werewolves

Price: 5.50

Publication Date: July 21st 2015


Read a teaser…

Nic ran through the woods. The broken twigs and rocks poking into his paws barely registered. He pivoted and headed deeper into the underbrush. The sharp pulling of the low-hanging tree limbs on his fur appealed to his need to punish himself. He wanted to hurt. A fight would’ve been better, but he couldn’t go around initiating any. Actions like that would come off as a dominance tactic, and the Kagan males had always held to a higher standard. They understood all members of a pack played a vital role.

He lowered his head and pushed through the bowing evergreens. An open space greeted him. He froze. Sides heaving and blood soaking his fur, he panted and took in the small home in front of him—Riley’s place. His dad had bought it for her. Last time Nic had seen it was right after she’d moved in. She must’ve remodeled since then. Where the concrete stoop once stood, a wide front porch spanned the house. It looked inviting with the swing and chairs decorating it. He could see himself lounging on it, enjoying the night.

A low growl rumbled in his chest.

It didn’t surprise him that he’d ended up here. He hadn’t been able to get thoughts of her out of his head. Guilt ate at him. He’d treated her like shit the last time they were together. She deserved an apology and explanation. If he’d been man enough, he would’ve been straight with her then.

He padded across the gravel road. On the other side, soft grass met the pads of his paws. Halfway across the front yard, the door opened. Riley stepped out, a bottle of beer in hand. An oversize flannel shirt covered her chest and bare thighs. Jealousy surged, knowing she wore another male’s clothes. Shock replaced it with his next breath. It was his shirt, the one he’d had on the last time they were together.

She whipped her head in his direction. Narrowed eyes zeroed in on him. They widened on a gasp. She set her bottle down and sprinted across the yard. Her loosely buttoned top gave him a tantalizing glimpse of her legs. He sat on his haunches to watch her, but she reached him before he could decide if the swath of black between her thighs was a thong or a bikini.

“Nic”—she dropped to her knees in front of him—“what happened?”

He couldn’t answer her in his wolf form. She knew that. She also understood that depending on how much control he gave his other half, he might not even hear her. It never stopped her from approaching shifters. She’d said she could tell who was in charge by looking into their eyes.

“You’re bleeding.” She brushed back his fur and gently touched the skin around a long gash. “This wasn’t from a fight, was it?”

He shook his head, the only answer he could give in his limited form.

She stared into his eyes. Not a hint of fear showed in her expression. She treated his dad and the other dominants with the respect owed them by avoiding eye contact. Never Nic, at least not in private, but the rules were different around the other wolves. Riley had always understood the need for hierarchy among the members. In the pack’s eyes, she was as low as one could be. In his, she was his equal.

“Shift and tell me why you decided to drag your sorry ass to my house. None of these cuts need my attention.”


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A little about Nancy…

A true romantic at heart, Nancy Corrigan is convinced there’s a knight in shining armor for every woman (or man), but you won’t find damsels in distress in her stories. She adores pairing alpha heroes with women strong enough to match them and bring them to their knees. She also enjoys flipping the traditional roles in romances because her motto is—love and people should never be forced to conform to anyone’s norm.

She holds a degree in chemistry and has worked in research but now focuses on ensuring quality. She considers it the perfect outlet for her as she’s the first to admit she has some OCD tendencies. It carries over into her writing life too. While engrossed in a novel, she has a habit of forgetting to eat and sleep. Fortunately, she’s married to her own knight in shining armor who understands her oddities and loves her anyway. They reside in Pennsylvania with their three children, dog, snake and guinea pigs. Her other interests include tattoos, animals, classic cars and all things spooky and sexy.



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Teaser Thursday- Love Like Vampires



Thaniel patted him on the shoulder. “We’re going to be fine here. Who knows? We might make some connections that will put us in the big time with Jareth. He said he would introduce us to some people.”

“Great.” The thought of meeting the “people” made Shane’s stomach churn. It would be huge for Love Like Vampires’ career, no question, but those guys could make or break the band. Shane didn’t trust himself to make a good enough first impression with people like that.

“Come on.” Thaniel turned to include the rest of the band in the command. “Wander. Schmooze. Flirt with women. Hell, flirt with men. Jareth just proposed to his fucking boyfriend no one knew he had, right onstage, and everyone loved it. So if you’re into guys, probably no one here will have a problem with it.”

He intended that statement for Shane, no question about it. Bryan was gay too, and no one was quite sure about Jace, but Thaniel had spent enough time trying to persuade Shane to find a boyfriend or at least a fuck buddy that Shane recognized a hint when he heard it.

The problem was he didn’t want to flirt with any of the guys in the room except Thaniel. And there was no fucking way he would “go for it” with the guy who’d been his best friend since elementary school. Even if he had a chance in hell with Thaniel, he didn’t want to fuck up a great friendship for the possibility of getting laid.

“Hey, it’s the band!” A woman in a skirt so short Shane would have sworn he could see her panties—assuming she was wearing any—tottered over on heels that made her taller than Shane. “Come have some drinks and shit, guys! You were fucking insane out there. You have to play with Jareth more.”

“His fiancé probably wouldn’t appreciate other guys playing with Jareth too much,” Bryan said, his face completely blank.

Thaniel snorted, and Shane stifled a laugh. Jace and the woman looked equally confused, and Todd simply turned to study a painting on the wall beside them.

The woman’s face brightened. “Come on. You should have drinks. And you need to meet people. It’s a party. People meet people at parties.”

She gave them a huge smile, and her eyes glazed over. Drunk or high. Or both. Who the fuck knows? Shane glanced at Thaniel, who appeared to be studying the chick’s huge boobs. The things were so big that given her state and her shoes, Shane couldn’t figure out why she didn’t just topple forward.

“Lead us to the drinks,” Thaniel said. “We can definitely use them.”

Todd opened his mouth and Shane frowned at him. Every single time they partied, Todd tried to lecture them about alcohol. And every time, he drank more than any of them. At least this time they wouldn’t be taking him home to his girlfriend while he was still shitfaced. He might be pretty hung over by the time they returned to Maine the following day, but he would be sober. Which meant Caroline wouldn’t threaten to take their kid and vanish the way she’d done after their last show.

The chick, whose name Shane never caught, brought them across the room to the bar, and after that things blurred for Shane. Alcohol flowed freely. Hands were stuck in front of him to shake.

Hands were on his body.

He wouldn’t have minded the last bit so much if they’d been guys’ hands. Especially if they’d been Thaniel’s.



Teaser Thursday- With Every Touch


Sheila didn’t call Erich that night. Although she could have used an ear and maybe a shoulder, she didn’t want to rely on him too much. Not when she might not have him around much longer. Instead she watched TV until her brain was numb and then went to bed.

Sunday, she went through the motions of cleaning and making sure her wardrobe for the week was ready. She wished she could see Erich again. Their day together had been the most fun and relaxation she’d had in longer than she could remember, and she wanted a repeat. But she refused to lean on him. It was just her luck that right when she found someone she was comfortable enough to care about, she would probably have to leave him. There wasn’t any point in getting too close.

The problem was she had already let herself get close to him, and she didn’t want to lose what had developed.

She called him Sunday afternoon as she had promised. “I think I’m going to stay home and relax. I have to be in Boston at nine tomorrow, and the drive’s going to be crazy because of traffic. I’m probably going to have to leave at six or earlier to make it.”

“That’s okay,” Erich said. “How are you feeling about the interview?”

“Good. It’s going to be good.” She had no clue how she felt other than nervous as hell. She was good at her job, and she had plenty of practice talking to people. That didn’t mean she would make a good impression.

Getting the job in Boston was important to her, but so was Erich. She’d only known him for a week and a half, but she wanted to see where things went between them. She wouldn’t be able to do that in Boston. Relationships were difficult enough. Long-distance relationships were almost impossible.

“You’re going to be fine,” Erich said. “They’d be idiots not to hire you.”

“Yeah.” It sounded like he wanted her to leave, which pissed her off. It wasn’t as though she expected him to break down and beg her to stay, but it would have been nice to hear he wasn’t eager to lose her.

“Are you going to work after the interview?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” She hadn’t even contacted the director to let him know she wouldn’t be at work the next morning.

“You aren’t too talkative today.” Irritation filled Erich’s tone. “I’m glad you called. I was a little worried about you. But I don’t think you actually want to talk.”

She clenched her jaw. He had no right to get pissy with her because she wasn’t being all bubbly and shit. She had stuff on her mind, things far more important than making small talk. “I kind of don’t,” she snapped. “I have this fucking interview to get ready for. I promised you I’d call today, so I called.”

“Yeah, you did.” Now he sounded even more annoyed. “You could have just said up-front that you weren’t in a conversation sort of mood.”

“Whatever.” Her voice rose. “I’m sorry I’m not following your preferred phone call format. I have to drive to Boston in the morning. My entire life might change depending on what they say. I might have to sit back and wait for an answer from them. I have to figure out what to tell my boss about not being at work tomorrow. I don’t have time to soothe your feelings.”

“Wow. Okay.” He paused. “I still want to see you tomorrow night, but I’m going to leave you alone for now. I don’t want to argue with you or have one of us hurt the other’s feelings. There isn’t any reason for it when you’re nervous. Take care, and please call me tomorrow when you’re ready to get together. I’ll give you space until then.”

Tears filled her eyes. She was being a bitch. He intended to be supportive, and she was lashing out the way she always did when someone tried to take care of her. She should have known better. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He didn’t sound angry or upset, but that didn’t do much to ease Sheila’s concerns. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? And you can call me again before then if you want to. I don’t deserve having you snarl at me. But I think this is how you get when you’re upset or worried, so I don’t hold it against you. Just please don’t call me until you’re sure you want to talk to me, okay? I’ll be here, I promise.”

Changes in the Works

My first romance was published in 2009. It came after two and a half years of attempting to write erotica and/or erotic romance (back then, I wasn’t even sure what the difference was!), posting stories online, and finally finding a publisher that gave me a chance.

In the just-over-six years since, I’ve honestly lost count of how many books (including novellas and stand-alone short stories) and anthology contributions I’ve had published. And at this point, something around half of them are no longer available anyway.

As I think I posted a few months ago, since last summer, my health has gone down, and my stress level has gone up. The last new erotic romance I wrote was Stepping Stone Not Doormat, which came out in February. The next book I tried to write, Dawn Over Dayfield, stubbornly refused to be any kind of romance, though there is a fairly hot blowjob scene in it.

And when I sat down a couple of months ago to try to write a follow-up to Stepping Stone Not Doormat, something in my brain kind of imploded. I wasn’t able to even get the story off the ground, and the harder I tried, the more stressed and anxious I felt. When I finally had to put it aside a couple of weeks ago to start on a young adult novel I’d already committed to a publisher (under my Jo Ramsey pen name), it was a relief…and I’ve written three times as much on that novel in two weeks as I did on the attempted romance in over a month.

That told me something I’d been trying to deny for months: It’s time to step back from writing romance for a while. How long a while? I’m not entirely sure. Until my brain and emotions are ready to try again, I guess. I’m going to put more time and focus into my young adult fiction instead, and I hope some of you will check out my Jo Ramsey books, if you’re inclined to read YA stuff. I do plan to try to self-publish a few of my reverted books, along with a couple of things that didn’t find homes because they’re too hard to categorize, over the next couple of years. And Dawn Over Dayfield will be available next March from DSP Publications, the non-romance imprint of Dreamspinner Press. So there will be Karenna Colcroft releases. Just no *new* erotic romance for a while.

I hope my readers will hang in there, check out any of my backlist that you haven’t read, and keep an eye out for the self-published stuff as well as Dawn Over Dayfield. I won’t be disappearing completely; you can still find me on social media and this website. But sometimes tough decisions need to be made, and unfortunately, for me this is one of those times.

Teaser Thursday- Visual Impact

This is from an unpublished short story that I hope to offer as a free download later this year.

Drag club

Palms sweating, Coby held one hand over the doorknob he didn’t quite dare to touch. He swallowed, hoping to bring some moisture to his dry mouth. He was home, but not as triumphantly as he’d hoped. Not wearing the crown of the TV drag queen competition show for which he’d left Boston two months earlier. Instead, he was returning as a loser.

At least he wasn’t a complete failure. He’d reached the top five. But somehow that it worse than if he’d been sent home sooner.

He took a deep breath. He couldn’t just stand in the hall all day. Sooner or later, he had to enter the apartment. Then he would be in his husband’s arms again. In the one place on earth where he was completely loved.

Slowly, he opened the door and forced a smile onto his face. “Hey, honey, I’m home.”

“Coby!” Garrick hurried out of the bedroom, a confused smile on his ruddy oval face.

Coby didn’t even have a chance to drop his bags before Garrick lifted him into a bone-crunching hug.

Garrick gave Coby a searing kiss, and Coby’s grip on the bags loosened. This was why he’d come home. Garrick’s strong arms around him. Their shared hunger.

Their love.

Almost instantly, his cock grew hard. Heat rose through him, and he hitched in a breath. For two frigging months, he hadn’t been able to touch anyone. The lack of physical contact had been sheer torture, but he’d promised Garrick he wouldn’t fool around. And Coby always kept his promise.

Now he and Garrick could make up for lost time.

Garrick flicked Coby’s lips with his tongue then broke the kiss. “You are so fucking beautiful. Why didn’t you tell me you were on the way? I would have picked you up at the airport.”

“No phone calls allowed from the competition,” Coby said. “Not even when they send us home. And it was just as easy to call a cab from the airport as it would have been to call you.” Besides, I didn’t want to disappoint you over the phone. Better to do it face to face.

Garrick gently set Coby on the floor and touched Coby’s eyelids. “You’re wearing makeup.”

“I’m a princess, baby.” Coby sing-songed the words, aiming for his usual cocky confidence. It was one of the things Garrick said he loved about him, and if Coby faked being confident long enough, he would feel it. “I figured I should look the part.”

Garrick folded his arms. “That wasn’t exactly safe, was it?”

“Wearing makeup?” Coby tensed, and his hard-on deflated. He’d just come home. Surely Garrick wouldn’t start another argument about hiding and staying “safe” in public. “I was on a plane and in a cab. No one hassled me.”

“Sorry. I just worry.” Garrick wrinkled his forehead. “So they sent you home? I thought you’d be out there for another week or so. Can you tell me anything?”

“The show doesn’t air for another few months, so I can’t say much, but yeah.” Coby sighed. “I was eliminated. Made it to the top five, though. They gave me the choice of sticking around or coming back here for a few days. I have to go back at the end of the week to tape the finale, but I wanted to see you.”

His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. No one knew how badly he’d missed Garrick, and he refused to break down now.