Currently, the plan is for my fiance and me to get married on April 17, 2010. We’re having a ceremony conducted by a justice of the peace at the function hall of one of our local yacht clubs, followed by a reception in the same place and a honeymoon at the Cape Cod cottage owned by one of my fiance’s aunts. The timing works out perfectly, because the week following that date is school vacation here, so my daughters will be with their father anyway. They’ll stay for the wedding and then go to spend their time with him while we have our honeymoon.

Except that I’m so not sure I want all that. When I got married the first time, we had a ceremony in a photography studio owned by friends of my parents. They did the pictures. The ceremony was conducted by a notary public, with only my parents and his in attendance, and afterward they took us out to dinner at a local restaurant. Then we went home to the apartment we’d moved into a week earlier. End of story. Not very memorable.

So I do want something more special this time. Something I’ll remember. Something my fiance will remember too, since he’s never been married before. I just don’t know if I want to go to all that trouble. We are planning a small ceremony, probably only 25-50 people. To me, that still sounds huge, especially when almost all of those people are members of my fiance’s family or close friends of his parents. He doesn’t have any friends that he wants to invite. My family consists of my parents and a grandmother who’s too old to travel, and I have a handful of “friendly acquaintances” I’d like to invite, mainly because most of them were present the night my fiance and I met.

But I’ve been looking stuff that needs to be done, even with a small wedding. We have the function hall reserved already, and the justice of the peace is all set. I have a gown; I found it at a church thrift shop here in town. It just needs to be dry cleaned and it’ll be good to go. Then we need a caterer (for a buffet-type thing; we’re not planning a formal meal), a DJ, my daughters need dresses to wear as our attendants, my fiance needs to rent a tux, or at least a suit… Honestly, I don’t even know all the things we need; I’ve never planned a wedding before, and the only two I’ve been to were one when I was 4 that I barely remember, and one of one of my ex-husband’s cousins, which was definitely not something I’d want to use as a template for my own.

Something special and memorable, yes. Something that includes my daughters, since my fiance will become their stepfather. Which he essentially is anyway, since we’ve been living with him for almost six months now, but my extremely literal 11-year-old says he won’t be her stepfather until we’re actually married. I just don’t see why that something special has to involve standing up in front of a roomful of people, only half of whom I’ve even met, and spending a ridiculous amount of money to impress said roomful of people. Not that we’re planning to spend what most people would consider a lot, but still.

I’m going through trying to plan all this for my fiance, because it is his first (and hopefully only) wedding. He says he wants to do it for my daughters’ sakes, so that they’ll see that this is something really special and important. I still kinda think I’d rather just stand in front of the JP with my daughters and call it good…

Pre-wedding jitters, maybe. Or maybe I’m onto something. I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts, and stories about your weddings if you’re willing to share.

Speaking of sharing stories, while you’re here, don’t forget to go back a couple of entries to “Can They See Me Blush Online?” and post about the weirdest or most embarrassing thing you’ve ever bought online to be entered in a drawing for a $25 Sensual Magick gift certificate and a free copy of my novella Beginner’s Luck.