Special Guest Konstantine Paradias

Please welcome Breathless Press author Konstantine Paradias. Thanks for stopping by!

Konstantine Paradias Author Pic

 

The hardest part about explaining why you dislike something that has proven itself to be popular beyond the shadow of a doubt is primarily that fact that you can’t beat the general consensus. Going up against something that has proven itself to be a runaway success sometimes is most time a vain attempt to proved that you’re that special little snowflake to most people, which is what spawned the ‘you can’t account for taste’ aphorism.

But in the vain attempt to make my point, here is a list of 3 things I hate that everybody loves.

 

1-      Supernatural (or, Adventures in Metrosexual Monster-Hunting)

Supernatural is the best series ever for most of the people I know and associate with and that includes book editors, writers and even close friends. And the problem is that…I don’t get it. I don’t get why it’s a success, I don’t get why people like it and I don’t understand why it ever became so popular.

The main characters, Dean and Sam, were apparently written with a completely different presentation in mind. When my friends told me that Dean is the ‘roughneck metalhead brother’ and that Sam is the ‘quiet badass’ I imagined a towering older bastard of a brother with a Lemmy-beard and a beat-up Camaro, with his quiet nerd sibling in the passenger seat, a violin case filled with an automatic stake-launcher on his lap. What I got was…well it was tween book cover material. When I look at Supernatural’s main characters, I can’t help but see a pair of then 23-year olds struggling to play the parts of 30-something-year-old roughnecks, deepening their voices and fighting the forces of evil that prey on mankind with a metric ton of hair product on their heads.

The other problem I had was with the execution and presentation of the series. Perhaps I was expecting too much, when I realized that the main antagonists weren’t going to be people in rubber suits, but I definitely did not think I would have to go through suspending my disbelief so I can just put up with yet another guy or gal in a suit who claims to be a denizen of Hell. Charmed did it and we put up with it because the alternative was terrible Hercules-era CGI. This is no longer acceptable.

The entire series is way too clean and PG for the tone they are gunning for. It’s obvious that its success is mostly attributed to the fact that it was going to be sold to teenagers (or 20-year-olds in need for escapism) but a grimmer, less idealistic approach could have made this show more sincere (and perhaps more watchable).

2-      The Dark Knight (or, Killing Joke without the subtlety)

The Dark Knight blew everyone’s minds when it first hit theaters. Heath ledger’s performance (and untimely demise) became so iconic that his rendition of the Joker forever replaced Batman’s most important villain forever in the comic book medium and Christopher Nolan was hailed for his mastery at conveying his message about human nature or something.

Except that this movie was 90 minutes longer than it should have been and it reveled in rubbing its political message in your face and the Joker bored me. It was very hard for me to put to words, on the first screening. I was there and I watched the thing along with everybody else, who gasped and moaned at the visual cues but I just couldn’t give a damn about it. Why? Well the reasons are many fold, but I will try to keep it short.

The Dark Knight tried its absolute best to be Alan Moore’s ultimate Batman story The Killing Joke and failed miserably. The original story was what actually set up the Joker as the homicidal anarchist who changes his life story to tug at the reader’s heartstrings and his little jingle was what told us that when your life falls apart around you, you shouldn’t “get eeeven, get mad!”. Through the story, Batman was just as insane as the Joker and the irrationality of our lives was outlined in six (count’em, six) panels, where as the Dark Knight dragged the surveillance culture and the prisoner’s dilemma points on forever, just so the director could say ‘when you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back, m’kay?’

Sometimes, if you are going to rip off a classic, you should just rip it off all the way. And also make the damn Killing Joke Jingle while you’re at it, because it’s awesome.

3-       China Mieville’s The City and the City (or, Franz Kafka, will you marry me?)

The City and the City has been hailed by a number of critics and websites as ‘Kafka for the 21st century’. It has received recognition as a murder mystery taking place in a setting steeped in irrationality and it involves the story of a man trying to induce the specifics of the murder of an exchange archaeology student in a country that’s divided by a metaphorical divide between the two cultures that comprise it. It sounds like a very interesting and artsy thing, all in all.

The problem with the City and the City is that the book drags on longer than necessary. Somewhere in the 82 thousand word mark longer, to be precise. The novelty of the setting wears off past the 30-page mark, becoming a drag on the reader as the omnipresent investigation obstacle is a literal invisible wall and begins to wear you out until you’re just flipping pages hoping you didn’t miss out on anything important while you were doing it. The twin cities seem alien and irrational, which harms the reader’s immersion. If this had been a short story, it could have been a classic.

Credit where credit’s due, the final chase scene is pretty cool, but it is the one and only time where we see the invisible wall playing any active part in the narrative. Problem is, it takes place in the last ten pages and it’s concluded in three.

 

Author Bio:

Konstantine Paradias is a jeweler by profession and a writer by choice. His short stories have been published in Third FlatIron’s Lost Worlds anthology, Unidentified Funny Objects! 2 and  the LeoDeGrance flash Fiction Anthology. People tell him he has a writing problem, but he says he can quit, like, whenever he wants. You can find him on FaceBook (https://www.facebook.com/konstantine.paradias) or follow him on Twitter (@KostantineP) or you can cut the middle man and go straight for his blog, Shapescapes (http://shapescapes.blogspot.com).

About Loved By Heaven, Fouled by Hell:

When Lucretia Mandrake was tasked by her sorcerous father to bind the creatures of Hell and Heaven sent to his deathbed, she thought she had claimed for herself immortal slaves, to satisfy her every whim.

She could not know that each of the creatures had their own plans for her. To love and foul her, to save her and destroy her. She thinks herself safe and content but it won’t be long before her world comes apart at the seams, torn by supernatural forces.

Loved By Heaven, Fouled By Hell is the story of a woman who finds herself at the top of the world, having to choose between Moloch or the manger.

KP_Loved in heaven_600x900

When Lucretia Mandrake was tasked by her sorcerous father to bind the creatures of Hell and Heaven sent to his deathbed, she thought she had claimed for herself immortal slaves, to satisfy her every whim.

She could not know that each of the creatures had their own plans for her. To love and foul her, to save her and destroy her. She thinks herself safe and content, but it won’t be long before her world comes apart at the seams, torn by supernatural forces.

She turned to him and saw his face healed somehow, his flesh rejuvenated by this act, his lips slick with her juices. He looked different now; his eyes bore a confidence she had never seen before. She gasped when he grabbed her by the hand, pulling her up. Her knees were weak, and she stumbled, spilling the last standing stack of books as the angel put his hand on the back of her neck, raised her leg, and beat his wings.

Once they beat, and the tug of gravity let go. Twice, and they were already hovering in the air. She held on to him, her legs wrapped around his waist as he flew her around the great library. She let out a long, passionate shout when the angel began to move inside her in long, slow strokes, and she felt the entirety of his length.

Hael flew her across the great library, holding her against him, then buried himself inside her to the hilt, holding her close. He turned in the air and beat his wings, steadying himself, placing her with her back to the loft’s railing. Gasping with both pleasure and relief, she spread her hands and held on to the railing as the angel  moved inside her, this time in faster, harder strokes, many feet from the ground. The glare of the midday sun as it shone through the library’s balcony matched the warmth that radiated outward from inside her.

It was then that the angel forced himself inside her, and she leaned back against the railing, letting out a howl of pleasure, her neck craned back, looking at her father’s great portrait inverted, the old man unimportant and detached from her for the first time since her birth. Her sex convulsed then, and she let herself go. Suddenly, she was filled with light, and she held on to him for dear life. She shuddered as she rode the angel’s member constantly, perfectly synching her motions with his, shaking her head as he let go inside her, and this time it felt good. This time she felt whole and complete, and she climaxed again and gasped for air, milking the creature dry.

He picked her up in his arms as she wheezed, stepping up on the railing gracefully and beating his wings so he could lay her on the floor. Lucretia almost collapsed the minute he let go, but he grabbed her again, helping her steady herself.

“That was…promising.”

“It was. But there is a creature of Hell here with you who you have tortured. It won’t…”

 

Konstantine Paradias is a Greek writer, who has always thought that erotica should be more than just steamy sex scenes. When writing Loved by Heaven, Fouled by Hell, he drew heavily from his influences of the Quabalah and the Ars Goetia to provide his readers something more than just a raunchy tale.

He is hoping that he has achieved that much and that you have enjoyed this endeavor. If you did, come and find him over on his blog, Shapescapes (shapescapes.blogspot.com) or add him on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/konstantine.paradias) and let him know what you think.

He pretty much also answers every tweet he gets, so dropping him a line at @KostantineP won’t hurt.

 

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