Progress and Process

For far longer than I anticipated, I’ve been working on Bring On the Broccoli (Real Werewolves Don’t Eat Meat 7). I wrote a draft that took me over 3 months to complete, which is nearly twice as long as my drafts usually take, and then realized that that draft was mostly unusable. There wasn’t enough action, and Kyle Slidell, my vegan werewolf who narrates this book, was almost entirely just narrating instead of being part of the story. Some aspects of the story didn’t work, and some either contradicted or ignored plot points from the previous books.

So I started over.

I spent about a week doing a brainstorm/outline of the book, which isn’t something I typically do, but this time it felt necessary so I could make sure the book actually proceeded as planned. The brainstorm came to 15 pages, longer than some short stories I’ve written.

And within the first week of working on the new draft, the outline was pretty much out the window. Because my werewolves are oppositional cusses.

I kept working on the book, but after a while decided I needed a new brainstorm/outline so I could keep track of what was going on. I spent about 3 days on the new brainstorm.

And now half of *that* one is out the window.

On the plus side, the book is proceeding much more smoothly than the original draft. Even though the werewolves keep throwing me curveballs. I hope to have this draft finished within the next week or so.

Bring On the Broccoli will be available in January. (Unless the werewolves have other ideas.)

My Executive is Dysfunctioning

Being neurodivergent, I have a brain that sometimes cooperates with me and sometimes doesn’t. The more I have on my figurative plate, the less my brain cooperates.

Over the past week or so… it hasn’t exactly been cooperating. I’ve been deep in the thick of revisiting how I approach writing and publishing. Since I started self-publishing a little over 2 years ago, I’ve looked at it as something I want to have fun with that might also bring in some royalties. Which is what it has been.

But more and more, I’m realizing that I want to reach more readers and have more visibility in the world. I want to be one of those authors that someone thinks to recommend when someone else asks for werewolf books, or less-known authors, or books with cats in them, or whatever. I want to be more intentional and thoughtful about what I write, when I write and release it, and how I let people know it exists. So I’ve been doing a deep dive into planning, reading or watching info from authors who are where I want to be, reconsidering my writing schedule, and so on.

On top of doing that, I’ve also been driving rideshare, continuing my weekly volunteering at a local cat cafe, keeping the house reasonably clean, trying to make sure I have something resembling supper ready for my kid when they come home from work (I call them my kid because it’s the only gender-neutral term we’ve agreed on for their relationship to me; “child” doesn’t work because they aren’t one, and they don’t like “offspring” or “spawn”, but they aren’t a kid, they’re in their 20s), trying to find a job that *isn’t* driving rideshare, trying to replace the car that I’ve had for five years that has been pretty much destroyed by driving rideshare…you get the idea.

(This week at the cat cafe, I apparently was the official lap… here’s a picture of Speedy, or as one of my friends referred to him, “a fluffy raincloud,” lying on me.)

There’s been a lot going on. And sometimes, my brain just glitches out. Like yesterday, when I literally could not figure out how to bring a paper prescription to the pharmacy, get the meds from the pharmacy, do the grocery shopping, and do rideshare. I wound up not getting the prescription filled. (It’s for the kid’s cat, who needs eye drops periodically, so it wasn’t urgent.) But I also wound up not being able to figure out anything to make for supper, because I’m not adept at cooking and struggle to follow recipes–or to even find a recipe I want to try–and by the time I got home with the groceries, my brain was just like “Nope, not cooking, screw it.” I had a microwaved veggie burger and ice cream for supper. Kid fortunately had gotten food on the way home from work so didn’t need me to prepare anything for them.

Today… who knows? I won’t be leaving the house. The one thing I’ve promised myself is that Saturday is my day to stay home, rest, and catch up on things that didn’t get done because I had to *leave* the house to do rideshare and errands and such. (The only exception is if I’m visiting family or there’s something special going on.) But I’m still trying to do the planning and learning and housework (oh my). And I do want to make an actual supper tonight, but I’ve already got that organized and just need to actually put things in a pot and cook them later.

I’ve always had issues with organization, time management, etc. When I was growing up, and even in my early years as an adult trying to hold down a full-time teaching job, I was told that I was lazy, that I could do it if I wanted to, that I needed to “try harder,” that I obviously just didn’t care about getting things done properly. None of which was true, but in those days–that makes me sound old, but then I realize that “those days” were actually over three decades ago, so maybe I *am* old–not as much was known about autism and ADHD and CPTSD and other things that alter the way someone’s brain works and processes. I’m realizing through my kids’ experiences that all the things I was condemned and insulted and bullied about, and all the things that made holding a job effectively so much harder for me than it appeared for other people, weren’t laziness or lack of caring or lack of trying. They were because my brain is not wired like the brains of the people who were saying those things to me.

When I was teaching, after a little trial and error, I found an organizational system that worked for ME, for the way MY brain works and processes. (I also found a principal who bitched at me for using my system instead of doing things the way she wanted me to, even though my way ensured that I was the most effective teacher for my students and their parents and that all the paperwork and lesson plans were actually being completed; that job didn’t last long.) In my personal life, my writing life, etc., I’ve had to do similar trial-and-error things to find out what works for me, instead of getting hung up on what other people say *should* work for me. Things like folding and sorting each item of clothing as I remove it from the dryer, instead of yanking it all out of the dryer and into the basket, then having to fold it later. Or color-coding the stages of my writing projects so I can see at a quick glance where I am with which book.

But it does take trial and error, and when I add a new thing, or entire new set of things, to the table, as I’m doing now with the planning and learning about writing and marketing and such, sometimes my inner executive stops functioning. And I’ve learned to be kind to myself when that happens, because I know *now* (at age 54) that that doesn’t happen because I’m lazy or don’t want to do it, it’s because my brain is wired differently and sometimes needs a break or a different approach.

At least takeout food is a thing…

Release Schedule Changes

I’m still fine-tuning things. The advantage of being a self-published author is the flexibility to change my release schedule as needed. The disadvantage of being a self-published author is that I’m the one who has to make those changes.

Hooch and Howls will be out on March 14, as previously announced. That book is nearly ready to go; another round of proofreading and the cover, and it will be complete. I’ll be putting it up for Kindle preorder on February 29, and it will be released wide on March 14 (meaning it will not be available through Kindle Unlimited).

Take Some Tahini (Real Werewolves Don’t Eat Meat 6) will be out on July 11, as previously announced. I’m working on edits for that one, but I’m confident it will be complete and ready to go in time for Kindle preorder on June 27 and release on July 11. (I have not yet decided whether it will be in Kindle Unlimited for 90 days, as I did with Tempeh for Two, or just go wide off the bat; stay tuned for more on that.)

On May 9… I’m not sure. Originally, that was going to be Hooch and Howls, and my novel A Fighting Chance (a follow-up to Chance Met) was supposed to be the March 14 release. I flipped those two because Hooch was closer to being ready than A Fighting Chance. I figured I could easily get Fighting ready for May.

That was until I got the notes back from my beta reader. I had known *something* was not working with Fighting, but I couldn’t figure out where the problems were. My beta reader pointed all of the issues out to me, which I greatly appreciate. With her notes, I can see exactly what she’s talking about, and now I understand why the story wasn’t resonating for me.

But… I am not completely sure I’ll be able to fix those problems in time for a May release of this book. And to be honest, between the depth of the issues and the fact that it’s a follow-up to a book that was released a year ago, I’m starting to wonder if I actually *want* to fix those problems and release this book.

When I was working on Chance Met in early 2023, I realized that expanding that book was going to take longer than I’d anticipated, especially since at the time, I was also dealing with the immediate aftermath of my mother’s passing and trying to help my dad cope with paperwork, cleaning out the house, and so on. I completely changed my 2023 release schedule with very little notice to readers, because there wasn’t much else I could do. And at the time, I committed to only stating my release schedule 6 months in advance. I thought that would give me enough time to solidify things while making it easier for me to tweak and change the schedule without having to backtrack on releases I’d already announced.

But this time, because of the need for more extensive rewrites on A Fighting Chance, I’m going to have to say “Please stay tuned.” The March and July releases for 2024 are definite. I have plans for September’s release. But for the time being, I’m going to have to start working on A Fighting Chance and see whether I can actually regain my joy with this story and whether I’m capable of getting it ready for May 9. I will know for certain what May’s release will be by the time I release Hooch and Howls.

Meanwhile, I’m going to spend part of today working on the Hooch and Howls cover art and giving myself compassion for the need to change… because change happens sometimes.

My Book Hates Me

I’ve been working for the past several weeks on a novel with the working title A Fighting Chance. This is a follow-up to Chance Met, the novel I released in March, and continues the story of werewolf Trey Damone and psychic Jeremiah Crawford, along with Trey’s seven-year-old son Mikey. (For those who’ve read Chance Met and Hummus on Rye: Mikey was 6 in those books. His birthday occurs between books in the universe’s timeline, so he’s 7 by the time this book takes place.)

I was excited about this book when I started working on it. I liked getting back into Trey’s and Jeremiah’s minds and continuing the storyline of their relationship and Trey’s efforts to protect Mikey from the family who is trying to take Mikey away.

But, as sometimes happens with writing, now I’m getting stuck in various points of the story. I can’t quite get the plot to cooperate and fit with what happens in other books that take place in the same universe and the same approximate time frame. And I can’t manage to get Trey and Jeremiah in bed together, which…it’s a romance, sex is kinda supposed to happen between these characters. (Note: Romance with one or more asexual characters and no sexual activity at all is completely valid; it just doesn’t work for *these* characters given that there is sexual attraction and activity in Chance Met.) But the other pieces of the plot are taking up so much page count and story time that there just hasn’t been a point where Trey and Jeremiah have been able to do anything sexual. They aren’t even together for a good third of the story so far.

I don’t know if this book is going to work out as I planned. Right now part of me wants to scrap the whole thing and give up on it entirely; part wants to scrap most of what I’ve written so far and start over from scratch; and part wants to keep going with the way the story is and see if it pulls itself together and starts cooperating with me.

I love being a writer. But I’m a far bigger fan of *having written* than I am of *writing* sometimes…

When the Characters Take Over

Several weeks ago, I finished writing the first draft of a new novel called Fill the Empty Spaces. This novel started as a way of processing the passing of my mother at the beginning of December; although she and I didn’t have the best relationship, the realization that she was no longer around hit harder than I’d thought it would. Through much of my life, until my writing brain stopped functioning in 2015, writing was how I processed, how I coped, and sometimes how I kept myself alive. Although I didn’t write much of anything for six years, now that I’ve started writing again, it has once again become one of my ways of dealing with and understanding life. And, in this case, death.

(This isn’t the final cover, it’s just something I’m using to keep myself in the story’s mindset.)

When I started writing Fill the Empty Spaces, I didn’t know it would turn out to be a novel. I thought I was writing a short story. But Del Nethercott, the main character/narrator, had other ideas. So did Lochlan Moroney, the character who becomes Del’s close friend and possible love interest. At the beginning of the story, Del is only about a month past losing his longterm partner Austin, who was killed by a drunk driver. The last thing Del’s thinking about is a new relationship; he’s barely functioning day to day, and his grief over Austin consumes him. The story extends through a few months, until four or five months after Austin’s death, and we witness Del’s healing–though of course he’s still grieving–and the beginning and blossoming of his connection with Lochlan. At the beginning, I thought Spaces would turn out to be contemporary; Lochlan threw a metaphysical/paranormal loop into the story that wound up being a key part of the story. And so the “short story” became a novel.

As I said, several weeks ago, I finished the first draft of Spaces. Or so I thought. To be honest, when I said, “The end,” I wasn’t actually certain it was. I’d reached a point in the story where it felt like I could stop and hold something over for a follow-up book, probably from Lochlan’s point of view.  The story didn’t end with a “happily ever after” or even really with a “happy for now.” It ended with “Del, you aren’t ready for a relationship, so let’s stay friends until you *are* ready and then see what happens.” The book as I ended it at that point was not a romance (nor did I intend to say it was; I was very clear in talking about it that it was a novel with romantic undertones).

This past week, I started editing the manuscript. I’d done some editing as I worked on the first draft; I didn’t do much plotting or brainstorming before I started writing, so some of the things I put in the story didn’t work or dragged down the pacing too much to remain, so I’d yoinked those as part of writing the first draft. But there was still work to do.

By the time I reached the end of what I’d written, though, I knew I had to continue the story. Ending it with Del and Lochlan agreeing that they would enter a relationship when Del reached a point in his grieving process that he could handle having a new partner was good, but it wasn’t where Del and Lochlan wanted to end the book. So I finished editing what I’d written and started writing more.

As it stands now, two days into the process of continuing the story, I don’t know where Del and Lochlan want to end up. I’d like to see the book end with them in a relationship, but that’s going to depend on how Del’s grief and healing progress. And with what happens to each of them in the meantime. It’s been a long time since I started writing a book with the mindset of “let’s see where this goes,” and I’m enjoying doing it again, even if these two guys do keep throwing wrenches into the process.

Fill the Empty Spaces is currently planned for release on October 12 of this year. I’ll keep you updated!